Q: Should you fake it till you make it? A: No, I prefer "Be it until you become it"

The reason for the shift in language is that we can tap into and access inner qualities that we can not feel aligned with, and hence feel 'fake' but really it's simply unfamiliar. We can not be that which we are not.


The way I've seen too many interpret this it to fake results or actions and be deceptive or manipulative in the message. Either justifying their sucky tactics, or using it as a reason not to take action yet.


When it comes to our attributes and qualities all of these are available to us. We can all demonstrate anger, or sadness, or pride, or certainty. Like any other skill, we develop our belief in our capabilities to express these through action. When it comes to results. Be transparent, and clear. Don't pretend or fake results. If you haven't done something and someone asks you, answer openly and honestly. Let them know this is a skill you are developing.


When it comes to qualities and traits, be them until you become them. If you need to be curious, passionate, and warm, and you don't know if that is who you are, be curious passionate, and warm until you become them. If you want to be creative, purposeful and focused, be them until you become them.


The way to do this is to find the person who is demonstrating the qualities you desire, and model them. To model, we must look at the 4 dimensions of H.O.M.E. We must look into the Heart, Operations, Movement, and Experiences of the person we wish to model.


We must look to their Hopes, Energy, Attitudes, Relationships, and Thinking (the HEART). Then we can start to look at rituals, routines, and habits (the Operations). When we have the Heart and Operations in place, our own Movements and Experiences will align and we will become like the model. In all of this, we must remember the principles of CREATE. Competency is built through dedicating Time, Energy, and Effort (TEE). We can sustainably direct TEE towards the area's where have Relatedness and Autonomy. (Yes Create is creatively expressed as an Acronym). We must have a champion, someone else on the journey of life with us, or the journey to competence. This is how we continue to show up and take action. Knowing someone else is out there doing hard things (either the same or different to you) makes all the difference in realising you are not alone. This is how we build relatedness. It also must be our choice, autonomy, self-directed.


Competence, Autonomy, and Relatedness are flagged by self-determination theory as our basic needs.


Faking it comes from a place of wanting to fit in, to conform. Being it, comes from a place of knowing we belong no matter what. Faking it, til you make it generally refers to results and external factors... Being it, till you become it looks to our internal world, which is what shapes the quality of our existence. Making it sounds like there is an arrival point, and when it comes to our bank balance, our career and other external factors there generally is a yardstick of sorts by which we can measure. When it comes to our fulfillment, and creating a life we love, there is no external yardstick, it is an inner world game.


People who seek results (based on competency) without people who champion and commiserate with them (a sense of relatedness) and are doing it driven by others (instead of based on their own autonomy) will arrive, they will "make it" and still feel hollow inside. (I've been there and done that, twice... I'm a slow learner it seems). Those of us who instead seek to "become" will build competencies, relatedness based on choices from a place of autonomy. This is the pathway to CREATE a Life You Love. Let go of the need to fake it, to make it, and embrace the possibility of being it, until you become. A life long journey that is ever expanding.

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